He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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