That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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