you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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