Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
