erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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