Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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