before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
