i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
