I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
