i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Randomize
