yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
