can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
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No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
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Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
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