btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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