You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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