Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
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