we're chasing vodka with high fives
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
