he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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