That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
