Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
