Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Randomize
