I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize