Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize