it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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