white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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