She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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