Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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