best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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