OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
