Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
