i would punch a child for taco bell
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
