the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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