those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
