True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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