My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
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The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
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That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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