hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
