great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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