So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize
