She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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