I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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