So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize
