Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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