I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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