Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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