Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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