hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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