I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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