Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
