shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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