I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
