Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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