Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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