Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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