How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
