Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
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