Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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