What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
